


Without Him.

by AuthorUnniOng



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangle, M/M, ONGSUNG, Ong Seongwoo-centric, Ongniel, Post-Break Up, Rating will change, adding/changing tags as i go, big time, daniel ghosts seongwoo, hwangcloud, i dont know jaehwan/woojins ship name, jisung is picking up the pieces
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 20:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorUnniOng/pseuds/AuthorUnniOng
Summary: Seongwoo wakes up one day and Daniel is gone.





	Without Him.

**Author's Note:**

> hi,  
> i honestly dont know where this came from. I just wrote 3k in one sitting.  
> this is gonna be an emotional ride so buckle in.  
> idk how many chapters.  
> also it's formatted a bit weirdly but i hope you can still appreciate it. 
> 
> \- ong unni

**Day 0**

Seongwoo woke a little after noon, the warm glow of the sun shone through the window causing him so wince slightly, rubbing his eyes and stretching like a cat. He rolled over expecting to be met with the broad shoulder of his boyfriend only to find that the spot next to him was empty.

Huh.

Blindly he reached over to the nightstand knocking over a couple of things until he felt his phone and brought it to his face.

Daniel didn’t mention having any plans that day. It was Sunday and it was the only day of the week both were completely free. No classes, no practice for Daniel, who was on the college football team, no meetings for seongwoo, deputy on the student council.

Seongwoo sat up and checked his messages.

Nothing.

_He probably went to get them breakfast._

Seongwoo got up and stretched fully, dropping his phone on the duvet, deciding to take a shower before his boyfriend returned.

“Alexa, play something.” He called out, stripping out of his clothes and stepping into the warm torrent of water.

He smiled as he heard a familiar Shawn Menes tune begin to play.

_“… have you got plans tonight, I’m a hundred miles from Japan tonight…_ ” He hummed along. Letting the warm water sooth his slightly aching muscles. A slight blush decorating his cheeks as he remembered the previous night’s activities.

It was a short shower, and he stepped out in front of the large bathroom mirror, wrapping a towel around his waist. He took a moment admiring the beautiful bruises that were blossoming all over his chest and disappearing down beneath his towel. There were more hickeys than normal, accompanied by the faint marks on his hips left by Daniel’s fingers and he loved it, it was proof that he belonged with Daniel. That Seongwoo was Daniel’s and Daniel was Seongwoo’s.

He traced the marks as shivers ran down his spine.

His phone pinged in the other room, snapping him out of his trance.

That must be him.

Seongwoo skipped into the room checking his phone.

  
**Minhyun:** _You and Nielie still up for movies at me and Sungwoon hyung’s later? (12:23)_

He quickly tapped back a ‘yeah’ before getting dressed. They spent many afternoon’s in minhyun’s dorm, watching movies or just hanging out. As broke students, it was the cheapest and easiest way to see each other. Minhyun and Sungwoon’s shared room was on the top floor of their dorm, as Sungwoon’s father worked in admissions he was allowed some perks for his son and that meant he got the best accommodation. Compared to the room Seongwoo shared with Jaehwan, his roommate, Minhyun and Sungwoon’s room was twice the size and smelled much less like a musty student hovel.

Seongwoo shrugged on some sweatpants and the hoodie Daniel had left on the back of one of the chairs. He took a dep breath breathing in his boyfriend’s scent, he immediately felt warmed settling in front of the television.

It was about 45 minutes later that Seongwoo began to get a little concerned. He still hadn’t heard from Daniel and their regular breakfast place was only 20 minutes away.

He decided to call him but his call was directed to Daniel’s voicemail.

A sour sensation filtered into him and his anxiety began to flair.

Surely, Daniel was fine, he was always forgetting to charge his phone.

He began to fidget, unable to focus on the television.

He sent him a text.

**Seongwoo:** _Nielie, are you on the way back? You aren’t answering your phone. (13:14)_

He didn’t get a reply.

“Okay, Seongwoo. He probably just bumped into Jaehwan and they got distracted.” He spoke to himself, but his words were a little shaky.

Before he could stop himself, he hit dial.

It only rang twice before he picked up.

“Jae, have you-”

“Jjaeni hyung is buying us some breakfast right now.” Woojin’s cheerful voice interrupted him.

Seongwoo took a deep breath.

“Woojin, is Daniel with you?” Seongwoo asked, the grip on his phone tightened.

“Uhhh, no. Me and hyung were just leaving my building to come to yours, did you want him to get you anything too?” Woojin asked.

“N-no, if you see him can you let me know?” Seongwoo said, his hand was shaking now.

“Will do, is everything okay? I thought he was staying with you last night?” Woojin replied, sensing the tension in the older boy’s voice.

“I think so, he did but I think he stepped out for a bit. I’m probably just panicking for nothing.” Seongwoo replied trying to comfort himself and reassure Woojin at the same time.

“Okay hyung, well we’ll be there soon.” Woojin said.

“Okay, see you.”

Seongwoo hung up and jumped to his feet.

Daniel didn’t just disappear like this.

He called his boyfriend’s phone again but got through to his voicemail again. This time he left a message.

“Nielie, where are you? I’m getting a little worried. Let me know.” He tried to sound as calm as possible.

Everything was fine.

Right?

He could be anywhere.

Seongwoo pulled his knees up to his chest, phone tightly in his grip as he tried to rack his memory for anything Daniel might have said that he might have forgot. Maybe he did have practice.

He looked through his phone until he found the right number.

“Hello,” a youthful voice rang out.

“Hi, is this Jihoon?” He tried to sound normal.

“Yeah, Seongwoo hyung? Is that you?”

“Yeah, Jihoon I was wondering, do you have practice today?”

“No, it’s Sunday. Coach gives us today off at least.” Jihoon laughed.

“Oh,” Seongwoo was struggling to stay calm, “have you seen Daniel today?”

“No, hyung. We’re planning to hang out tomorrow, but he said he was busy today. I thought he was with you?” Jihoon sounded confused.

Seongwoo wanted to throw up.

“It’s probably nothing, I gotta go.” He hung up quickly and rung Daniel again.

It went straight to voicemail.

“Nielie, I’m getting a little more worried now, I might start calling the hospitals in the area-” he tried to joke but his voice cracked in the middle and he hung up the phone.

“Okay Seongwoo, don’t do this. It’s probably nothing.” He spoke out loud through increasingly difficult breaths.

He checked the time.

2:21pm.

He began to pace, eyes rapidly looking around the room trying to figure out what could be happening before his eyes landed on the books that he’d knocked off the bedside table, more specifically a small folded piece of paper lying face down under them.

He shuffled over and picked it up.

**_Hyung, I’m sorry._ **

**_I can’t do this anymore._ **

**_Don’t look for me._ **

**_\- D_ **

****

Seongwoo felt his knees give way before feeling the impact of them hitting the hardwood flooring. A dizzying nausea filled him so quickly that he almost passed out.

He couldn’t breathe.

Daniel.

Daniel was gone.

He left him.

“Hyung?! Hyung, Seongwoo hyung? Are you okay?” He could distantly hear a faint panicked voice getting closer to him but they were drowned out by the painful sobs that ripped from his throat. He didn’t even know when he started to cry.

**Day 1**

His room had been invaded by his friends, Minhyun and Sungwoon turned up very soon after a terrified Jaehwan called them shouting about how Seongwoo was having a breakdown. They were trying to be helpful but he just wanted to be alone. He was a shaking, sobbing mess, still clutching the note, as if rereading it would making him understand.

Understand why Daniel left? How he could do that to him?

They were together for three years. They were friends for five.

And he just left.

Seongwoo sat on the couch staring at the spot above the television trying to ignore the way Minhyun and Sungwoon were whispering amongst themselves or that fact that Jaehwan had been calling Daniel all day and he still hadn’t replied, not even to his best friend.

When Woojin checked the wardrobe to find him something else to wear they found that all of Daniel clothes were gone, everything he brought with him for all the times he slept over. It was all gone.

He planned this.

How much had wanted to leave?

Did it all mean nothing to him?

**Day 4**

He had a screaming match because Jaehwan tried to get him to change out of Daniel’s hoodie. Jaehwan stormed out to stay with his boyfriend.

**Day 8**

Seongwoo left the house for the first time in a week because his course tutor told him he would fail the module if he missed two more classes.

He saw the bakery they used to get breakfast at and he started to cry.

**Day 14**

Seongwoo dropped out of the course, he only chose an acting major because Daniel encouraged him.

**Day 21**

Minhyun and Sungwoon invite him to watch movies in their dorm. He stays in and watches romantic comedies and drinks two bottles of wine.

**Day 35**

Sungwoon and Minhyun announce their engagement. Seongwoo was the one who helped Sungwoon pick out the ring and hide the surprise from Minhyun way before all this and yet when he sees the announcement he drinks himself to sleep clutching Daniel’s hoodie.

**Day 49**

Seongwoo hasn’t left his dorm room since he dropped his course. Jaehwan and Woojin force him to tag along on their date night. They take him ice skating and Seongwoo remembers the time Daniel surprised him for their 6-month anniversary. How they both didn’t know how to skate but they played around and Daniel tried to show off breaking a bone in his wrist trying to do a jump. He laughed when Seongwoo asked if he was in pain and said it was worth it to see him smile.

He watched Jaehwan and Woojin trying to be discrete around him and he locked himself in the bathrooms and tried not to suffocate in sadness.

**Day 63**

Seongwoo began to ring Daniel. He knew the other boy had probably changed his number but it was comforting to hear his voicemail message.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s me Kangy D- or Nielie – but that’s only to my darling boyfriend. Leave a message.” Daniel’s voice rang out.

“Nielie…” Seongwoo had to hold his breath, he didn’t want to cry. “Nielie, my Nielie, why did you leave me? It’s been almost two months but I don’t understand. I thought we were happy? I loved you. You said you loved me.” His voice cracked and the tears took over again, “you said we would move to Canada one day, we were going to have so many cats and a massive house for our family. We even named our children. Why… why did you leave?” He knew he was wailing more than speaking at this point, “I thought I would marry you one day.”

He threw his phone across the room.

**Day 68**

Daniel’s voicemail box got full.

Seongwoo had a panic attack.

**Day 79**

Jaehwan, Woojin, Minhyun and Sungwoon told him something.

“Seongwoo hyung, you know we want to help you.” Jaehwan spoke in a soft voice as if trying not to startle a deer.

Seongwoo nodded. He showered today. He even had three meals. What more did they want from him?

“We know it’s hard of course we do and if I could I would kill Daniel for what he did to you.” Sungwoon said. Woojin nodded along enthusiastically.

Minhyun shook his head and moved on.

“The others didn’t want me to show you this but Woojin is friends that boy Jihoon and Jihoon showed him something…” Minhyun gestured at Woojin who handed his to Seongwoo.

Seongwoo stared down at the phone.

It was a picture of Daniel; he was smiling and posing in front of Niagara Falls.

“He’s – he’s in Canada.” Seongwoo whispered, unable to look away. Daniel must have blocked him on social media because he hadn’t seen a new photo or update from him for 72 days and now here he was. Smiling in front of the place they said they were going to visit together.

“I told you we shouldn’t have told him.” Jaehwan whispered.

“N-no. This is okay.” Seongwoo tried and failed to sound casual.

“Seongwoo. I showed you this for a reason. Daniel left. He hurt you and he is out there living his life. You can’t let him win. You have to move on. You have to forget him or he will continue to hurt you forever.” Minhyun hugged him, taking the phone back.

“We are here for you and we’re gonna help you, okay?” Sungwoon added.

For the first time in a long time Seongwoo smiled.

**Day 95**

It still wasn’t easy but Seongwoo thought it might be getting there.

They finished their last week in collage and finally moved off campus. 

Seongwoo felt like he could breathe a little more now that he wasn’t surrounded by memories of Daniel. 

The five of them decided to all move into the same building. Minhyun and Sungwoon got an apartment on the top floor it was large and spacious enough to become a good married home. Jaehwan didn’t want to leave Seongwoo alone but Seongwoo insisted he move in with his boyfriend. So Jaehwan moved in with Woojin, who was still only in his second year but insisted that living off campus would be better for him.

That left Seongwoo.

He moved into a small place clearly used to be a much bigger apartment that was cut in half by the landlord. He didn’t mind, it was cosy and much cleaner than the dorm he was used to. And he was only a couple of flights of stairs away from his friends, just like always.

Maybe he would be okay.

**Day 132**

Seongwoo found a job in a small children’s dance studio. He used to love to dance so it was a good place to start.

**Day 201**

On the day of Sungwoon and Minhyun’s wedding Seongwoo met Jisung.

He was a little older than them and an old friend of Sungwoon’s from high school.

He was polite and handsome and asked for Seongwoo’s phone number.

Seongwoo rejected him.

**Day 205**

Jisung showed up at their group movie night. He flirted with Seongwoo in the most gentlemanly manner. At some point Seongwoo might have flirted back.

**Day 213**

Jisung joined them again. Seongwoo found himself feeling glad.

They exchanged numbers.

**Day 222**

They texted all week.

Seongwoo’s heart may have fluttered.

**Day 235**

Their first date went well. Jisung was the head of an office and he was well paid enough that their first date was at a five-star restaurant. He pulled out Seongwoo’s chair for him and ordered wine. Seongwoo couldn’t help remembering his first date with Daniel, it was a small Italian place, they drank wine together, his first wine. That became their spot. They would go once a week try all the different meals and drinks.

He winced. He couldn’t be thinking about that. Not now.

The rest of the meal was perfectly pleasant and he even let Jisung kiss him.

It was nice.

**Day 245**

Seongwoo had been on three dates with Jisung and maybe he was beginning to really like him.

“Seongwoo, I want to ask you to be my boyfriend. Officially.” Jisung asked, he looked nervous. It was sweet, Seongwoo could hear the nerves in his voice.

He didn’t know if he could say yes.

When he closed his eyes, he could still see someone else’s face.

So, he didn’t say anything.

**Day 250**

“This isn’t fair on Jisung hyung. You know that. You have to at least talk to him.” Sungwoon chided him.

“How can I talk to him? What am I supposed to say? I think it’s too early it’s only been 250 days since Daniel left me?” Seongwoo replied.

“Seongwoo, why are you still keeping count? You like Jisung hyung, don’t you?” Sungwoon argued.

Seongwoo nodded after a pause. He did.

There was still a part of him that that wasn’t there yet but Seongwoo did like Jisung.

“Then, go. Talk to him. Please, he’s been texting me all day.” Sungwoon shooed him.

**Day 252**

Seongwoo told him. He told him everything. He told him about Daniel about what he did, about how much it hurt, about why he was scared…

Jisung held him close soothing him, rubbing his back as the tears streamed down his face.

“Seongwoo, thank you for telling me. I can’t believe someone would hurt you like that. You’re one of the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful people I’ve ever met and I wouldn’t let harm come to a single hair on your head.” He paused and looked him dead in the eye, “but if you need more time, you can have as much as you need.

Seongwoo felt his heart skip in a way it hadn’t for a very long time.

He lent in and kissed Jisung.

**Day 270**

Seongwoo felt happy.

He really did.

**Day 283**

On their one month anniversary Jisung took him to Jeju Island. Seongwoo told him he loved him for the first time. It felt odd saying it to someone new. It was true though.

**Day 435**

On their six-month anniversary Jisung brought him a cat. Seongwoo named it Puppy.

**  
Day 465**

Sungwoon and Minhyun adopted a child from Taiwan, his name is Guanlin and he’s six years old. Seongwoo instantly loves this child and plays with him for hours. Sungwoon and Minhyun wanted him, Jaehwan and Woojin to be godparents.

Seongwoo cried from happiness.

**Day 479**

Seongwoo received 5 missed calls from an unknown number. He didn’t think much of it.

**Day 500**

Seongwoo and Puppy moved in with Jisung into an apartment in Gangnam.

**Day 527**

Seongwoo finds a small blue box while moving some towels out of the closet.

There’s a ring inside.

Seongwoo didn’t know how he would feel, but he’s overcome with joy.

He hides the box where he found it and makes sure to kiss Jisung extra passionately when he gets home from work.

**Day 544**

Jisung and Seongwoo babysit Guanlin while his parents are out on date night.

Seongwoo is lying on the couch with his head in Jisung’s lap as he watches Guanlin plays with some toy cars. Jisung runs his fingers through his hair.

Seongwoo is content.

“Do you think we’ll have a little boy or girl one day?” Jisung asks. “What do you think we’ll call them?”

Seongwoo is struck with this odd feeling so suddenly, that he almost jumps, this jolt of Déjà vu.

_If it’s a boy, what about Daehwi? How cute is that._ He can almost hear Daniel’s voice.

“Daehwi, huh? That’s an adorable name.” Jisung agrees.

Shit. Did he say that out loud?

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by his phone ringing suddenly.

**_Unknown Number._ **

“You’ve been getting calls like this for a while now, should I pick up?” Jisung asks, he’s already accepting the call. “Hello, who is this.... Hello?” He shuts the phone, “Weird, didn’t say anything. Maybe I should get the caller blocked. You never know it could be a creep.”

**Day 559**

Seongwoo figures out when Jisung is going to propose to him.

Their anniversary is a week from today and Jisung got a call from a fancy restaurant about a reservation while he was at work.

He couldn’t help but grin as he walked down to meet Woojin outside his old apartment. A year ago his life was a mess and he wanted to die. And now he couldn’t be happier.

He rounded the corner and walked straight into someone almost tumbling to the ground but a strong hand stops him.

“Thank-” He freezes in spot because this can’t be happening.

This can’t be real.

No.

Kang Daniel is here.

He standing right in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AuthorUnniOng)   
>  [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/AuthorUnniOng)


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